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If you asked
my friends they would inform you that I dream of becoming a
lawyer, a member of a prestigious firm in central Sydney,
achieving success and prestige. They are not wrong, yet I
can not guarantee that they are right.
Dreams are
subject to stereotype and possibility, one lacking academic
ability will be shunned for aspiring to be a surgeon, yet
their dreams will commended on This is Your Life if ever
achieved, titled with such lines as ‘Hoping Against Hope’
and ‘Achieving the Impossible Dream.’
Most dreams
are a combination of talent and advice. From the early years
of one’s youth they are informed that they have talent in a
certain area and thus they should pursue it within a career.
In my case it was skills in articulating myself and debating
down topics that allowed myself to venture into the dream of
becoming a lawyer, an ambition of which has now been
thoroughly researched and discussed.
In contrast,
I am consistently unable to perform at sport, placed in a
field with Eric the Eel or Troy the Tracker I would still be
humiliated. This, throughout my life, has been a trigger to
intensive embarrassment and has resulted in me not only
being a failure in the sporting arena, but to despise
performing it
I am not
sure if it is academic ability or a lack of sporting talent
that has condemned me to the fate of the unpopular and
despised (a world where I am shunned throughout the school
by people whose faces remain anonymous in my eyes), but I am
there.
I have had
little experience with racism, Fairfield is too
multicultural and inter-racially tolerant for that to be a
significant element of life. Neither have I found myself
victim sexism, the 21st Century provides near
favour towards women. Yet I understand the consequences of
discrimination, for I face it every day in school.
Therefore
this is my dream, that people do not have to hide their
academic gifts in order to be accepted within their school
environment, that people do not have to make the choice
between achieving academically and success socially.
Many people
dismiss this form or prejudice for it is not based on an
unchangeable element of one’s being. What they fail to
comprehend is that once decided upon it is concreted into
your being and becomes as unchangeable as the colour of
one’s skin.
The premiers
plan to pay scientists to return to Australia has been met
with a positive response, yet it is quite likely that they
have not only left this continent’s shores for monetary
reasons, but because of the lack of respect associated with
scientific careers. Careers in scientific research carry
with it the only image society knows of science, the
eccentricity of Albert Einstein. This is not dissimilar to
the black rimmed glasses and long tartan skirts that
academics are allegedly clothed in outside their similarly
styled uniform. This is far from accurate, but the
stereotype is strong enough to immerse itself in each
respective school community.
I made the
choice to priotorise academic success in the hopes of
achieving well in my HSC, yet at the time I did not realise
the stigma that it held was as strong as it is, or that it
would be forced upon each one of my family members. This
prejudice has been especially difficult on my sister, a
person who chose a conflicting path to mine, but has been
confined to the same school environment.
From the
moment that she is identified as my sister, she is harassed
for information about me, any fact that contradicts my
statements so that they can expose me as a liar, any habit
of detest that they can make public. When we were younger,
this would cumulate in her being bullied in a manner that I
had developed the strength to dismiss, but for a person two
grades younger was a matter of anguish. Currently she is
asked to make a decision, she must choose to earn her
popularity by betraying me, or fall into a similar social
status as her sister, in defence.
As much as I
would like my private life to remain that way, I have
concluded that I was selfish is placing this contempt on
her, why should she be so generous. Hence I dream that she
no longer has to face this reality, that she can be free of
me as an element of her reputation, or more that my
reputation is no longer harmful to her own.
I dream too
of being able to run for student elections without the fear
of being laughed at. I dream of the day that I do not hear
whispers of my name, knowing that they are isolating my
every flaw as subject of humour. I dream of the day that I
can turn my back on my enemies and know that I will not find
hundreds of spit balls in my hair. Dreams however are an
idle thought, and so will such luxuries be for me whilst I
continue in high school.
I do not
blame any of my anguish, the unfufilment of my dreams, on
the people who force them to remain this way, but on the
society that we live in. I blame it on television programs,
where my culture can be openly humiliated without civil
liberties or political correctness being considered, ‘nerd’
is still considered accurate terminology.
I blame it
on a society that awards more Australian of the Year Awards
to sporting personalities than any other profession. A
society that has decided my dreams before I have conjured
them within myself.
However
while I examine my own dreams with intense interest, I have
the same dreams for others, people who suffer equal
inequality
because they are unable to
comprehend
the work presented to them in class. It is a thin line, A’s
are a distinguishable marking of the academic, anti-social
student where as a D or low C represents one who is, by
society’s standards ‘dumb.’ I dream for these people because
they have never had a choice as to what status they would
like to known by, they are naturally located at the base of
an intellectual pyramid. This not only positions them as
targets of abuse and to be taken advantage of but denies
them the hope that I can hold onto, that one day
intellectual ability will gain me success.
I desire for
the walls that divide all people to be broken down, for the
people within school, especially, to be one person
academically and have the possibility of being another
socially. Intellect is a minute portion of being,
unfortunately it is often considered to be its entirety.
Few people
are ignorant of the dream that Martin Luther King had, mine
is the same. I wish for people to judge me by an element of
my soul not my mind. I wish for people not to presume that I
will sit at the front of the class, and for that matter the
bus as well. I dream of a time when people would not laugh
if I aspired to be a retail assistant, would not be shocked
if my career was not centred on academia.
I dream
of a perfect world for myself, I do not deny that. I dream
of something unreasonable, beyond the comprehension of my
time. However, if Martin Luther King had not had his dream,
than racism may not be on the move towards obsceneness.
Possibly, if I did not have my dream than society will
remain this way, quite likely it still will, but I have a
dream and I aim to live my life in the attempt to achieve
it. I only hope that it does not fade in the absence of the
traumas that evoke my expression of it. |
