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My Dream….
My dream is to become the best doctor that I can be, so that
I can help people of all ages and also at the same time I
will be fulfilling a dream that my father had for one of his
girls. I shared thirteen glorious years with him. The
memories that I had of him can never be replaced and I will
never, ever forget them. I will cherish them always.
My Dad was so gentle, so kind, and so loving. He never did
wrong by, my elder brother, sister, younger sister and me.
He treated my mum like a goddess and after he died it was so
hard for me to see mum cry for nights on end. I thought I
was going through the worst pain of all, but when I saw my
mum crying days on end and trying to isolate herself from
friends and family it was too hard to even think what she
had felt because she knew him best and loved him profoundly.
My elder brother and sister knew what had happened and it
was just heart breaking for me to see Sophia (my 6 year old
sister) not knowing what happened. Hearing her ask ‘When is
Daddy coming home mummy?’ made mum and the rest of us break
down into tears. For we knew that Sophia would be too young
to understand. How could we explain it to her?
The date of the accident was
the 24th of December 2000.
My Dad had just brought a new, red Harley Davidson, imported
from over seas for Christmas. He was heading around to my
friend Andrea’s house to pick me up. It was my 13th
Birthday and he insisted on picking me up so he could just
be there and see me on my Big day. It was a miserable day,
it was only sprinkling but the road was still wet and oily
from the storm the night before. He had turned the corner
too fast in the wet conditions and went sliding, still on
the bike, under a truck. Due to the explosion it would have
been hard for him to survive the accident. He never got to
pick me up, or to say Happy Birthday. I also regret not
telling him how much he meant to me.
Why did he have to die? I don’t know, and I will never know.
He didn’t deserve it, the pain I was in and am still going
through is unfair. Why couldn’t I have been on the bike with
him that day? Why didn’t I just stay home the night before?
He would never have to pick me up. So many questions went
racing through my head one hundred miles per hour, but they
all stayed unanswered.
If none of this had happened I wouldn’t have to go through
this pain and misery that I am feeling right now.
In a way I wish I was on the bike that day. In another way,
if my dad did not die than I wouldn’t have come to realise
how much life means to me and that every second counts.
Without dad dying I would have gone through life without a
care in the world but I now know that nothing comes for
free.
I have come to realise in these past few years, that he
would have wanted me to move on with my life. I regret
having said the wrong things to him and not having the time
to apologise. I should have listened to him and all the
advice he gave to me and I should have been thankful for it.
Losing my dad has helped me to focus on what is important in
life and even though the experience has been traumatic it
has also helped me to develop my dream.
My dream is to become the person my father would have wanted
me to be. A person who is kind, caring, responsible, loving,
and compassionate. But most of all a person who never gives
up in time of struggle and who follows their heart. He
always wanted one of his daughters to become a doctor. In my
choice of career I know he will stick by me and my
decisions.
To become this person I will work hard to achieve the best
results in my high school certificate. I have three years
left at Mary Mackillop College and I plan to do the best I
can in my studies to fulfill one of my goals of reaching my
dream. I am also dedicating all my work to my father who
inspired me in my career choice.
One thing that inspired me most about my dad was that in
time of struggle he never, ever gave up. My dad came from a
family of ten children and his parents weren’t exactly what
you might call ‘wealthy’, so to reach his Dreams in life he
had to get jobs and save his money to get where he wanted to
go.
I believe that working towards my dream of becoming a doctor
is another step completed to discovering the real me and the
person my father would have been proud of.
I have learnt many things through this experience. It has
also led me to realise that my Dream of becoming everything
my dad would have wanted me to be is not so bad at all.
Everything he taught and told me during life has made me
appreciate him even more. I never knew what he went through
day in and day out, just to put dinner on the table, a roof
over our heads, and clothes on our back
Still to this day, part of me believes it was my fault he
had died. But as I write out my thoughts and feelings on how
much he meant to me, I know what my dad would have wanted me
to be. I come to realise I must let him go and that he will
always guide me through whatever path I choose to take in
life. This is what he would have wanted me to do with my
life.
If I could thank him, just once in my life I would feel
much stronger
because he was my inspiration for everything I do today. One
day we will reunite under greater circumstances, but till
that day arrives I know in the bottom of my heart that he
will be watching down on me and on everything I do. When I
achieve my dream of becoming a doctor I know my dad will be
proud of the choices that I may make in my lifetime….
By Fiona Hockley |
